See this grenade? Pull the pin. I dare you.

DH — What do you mean you didn’t glue the stars on Monkey Boy’s Pinewood Derby car?!? By the way, I’ll be home late and probably won’t be able to help set up the Derby at the school gym. (Not his fault — he’s been working 14 hour days for the last two weeks.)

DS — Yay Pinewood Derby! No clue what I’m doing! Also, please tell me a fourth time to do my homework because I love it when you totally lose your cool and shriek like that.

DD — I also love being repeatedly screamed at to do my homework. Because I didn’t hear you the first three times when you asked me reasonably and politely and treated me like a real, functioning human being. Nope. The screaming works for me. Also, I’m failing Geography.

Dog — Hi Mom! Love you, Mom! Sorry I puked on your floor, Mom! *hlrup* Sorry I puked on your floor AGAIN, Mom! Please take me to the vet so I can have surgery to remove the thing that I ate that I wasn’t supposed to eat that’s now blocking up my insides and making me *hlrup* Sorry I puked on your floor, Mom!

Then they all looked at me like they had no idea what was wrong when I finally did lose my mind and pitched a stomping, screaming fit.

So go ahead. Pull the pin on my grenade. At least I won’t have to clean up the mess.

Monday People

I'm a Monday person. I love them. Probably because I don't have a regular day job to go to. Whatever the reason, I always feel like I get a fresh start on Mondays.

Yesterday, recognizing what a wretched week I'd had before, I sat down with pen and paper and decided that I would NOT let myself sit in the doldrums this week.

Part of this new revitalization is the realization that I don't seem to be able to control my calorie count at all. Portion size, not a problem. Snacking last week was a big issue, but it usually isn't. Not to mention, my 'working out' has been nonexistent. In any case, I'm not losing weight.

So I'm doing something that's rather drastic for me. I'm trying the Slimfast thing. 25 lb in 12 weeks, says the plan. Which is only 2 lb/week, so it's not like a quick fix.

I'm horrible at diets. They always make me want to eat. But I can still have my regular dinners on this plan, so that's good. And I ought to be eating fruits and veggies for snacks anyway. Yes, they're packed with chemical weirdness, but as I said, I can't depend on my own 'eye' to judge how much I'm eating.

So today's plan is:
Curves
Grocery shopping
Writing
Min Maint
Kitchen
Laundry
Dinner out (ok, I'll probably splurge, but I'll do my best)

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!

Not my best week

It really hasn't been. I've been in a funk all week.

The house is running pretty smoothly. Dinner worked out most nights -- except last night when it took 7 hours to crockpot chicken that should have cooked in 3-5. I had to improvise, so we had Eggs Florentine instead, which is just a fancy way of saying sauteed spinach with poached eggs...and I overcooked the eggs.

I went to the gym one day this week.

I've been hanging out at the Steampunk Workshop I mentioned, but I'm not enjoying it. When the heck did Steampunk turn into nothing more than a new venue for vamps, weres, demons and zombies?!?

Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, but most of the stories that people seem to be writing are just regular paranormals with a thin veil of brass and cogs.

And when I asked if there was a market for Steampunk that didn't have magic or paranormal elements, I was informed that it would probably end up getting sold as Sci-Fi Romance, which is a really bloody difficult sell.

I'm grumpy. I'm going to Bunco tonight, though. Maybe that'll lighten my mood.

This is the anti-Merry.

Steampunk Workshop

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that the 2 people who read this blog aren't really familiar with a) the inner workings of writing a romance novel or b) weird cross-over genres like Steampunk Romance, which is kind of like Victorian Science Fiction. The Wiki article is very good.

However, if you're interested in getting into the nitty gritty of building an alternate history, plus boy meets girl in goggles, then you might be interested in coming to a Steampunk Workshop that's being hosted FREE at Romance Divas.

Registration is free and the workshop features several authors -- not all romance authors -- who are building the foundation of the genre.

I've got a Steampunk Romance on a back burner, so this is Really Exciting for me!

Bad Mom Alert

Obviously, I have screwed up somewhere.

My son pitched a fit this morning -- in his quiet, "I'm mad at you but I'm just going to sit here with red eyes and think miserable thoughts at you" kind of way -- because I didn't have the right kind of cereal in the house.

Now, I think he just woke up cranky and if it hadn't been cereal, it would have been something else.

But dang. We weren't OUT of cereal, we just didn't have anything neon-colored.

So I'm torn between feeling like a bad mom because I don't have the right kind of cereal or going all militant-vegan-sugarless on his scrawny little behind. Probably something in between is the right answer.

Wow, was yesterday not my day.

I watched bad TV all day long. Didn't write. I did make the bed in the morning, and finally got the kitchen cleaned. Made dinner and did one load of laundry.

Last night, I got to take Monkey Boy to his pack meeting where they watched "Down and Derby." Again. Every year, the month of the Pinewood Derby, they watch that movie. I sit out in the hall and read because there is not enough chocolate in the world to make sitting through that dumb movie worthwhile.

On the plus side, I did finally finish reading my anthology -- and I liked all the stories!!

The weird thing, though, was that my story was far and away the steamiest. I think my steam-meter must be off somehow because I do NOT write what could be labeled erotic romance. I read plenty of stuff that's marketed as ER, but mine doesn't come up to that bar. Trust me. I mean, I don't fade to black by any means, but that was kind of a surprise.

I should find out by Feb 1 whether the editor wants my last story or not. I almost pray not. Because it was bad. And I don't want to have to face it in edits.

And I was able to start reading a new-to-me book by Laura Kinsale, who is my absolute most favoritest historical romance author. Her "Flowers From the Storm" is the top of my list for historical romance. Flawless. So it's with great eagerness that I've begun "Seize the Fire."

Also, I'm going to the gym today come hell or high water. Neither of which are likely, to be honest, so I have no excuse.

Finally!

The 3 1/2 day weekend is over! The kids had only a half-day on Friday. So let's get this schedule straight:
Christmas holiday.
The first week back to school, they only went 3 days, then had 2 snow days.
The second week (last week), they went 4 1/2 days.
The third week (this week) is only 4 days.

Hmph. Maybe I'm just cranky because I can't settle on anything to read. I started "The Dracula Dossier" but even though the story seems interesting, I'm just not in the mood.

I also started reading the anthology I'm in -- yes, I'm a huge chicken and I'm too scared to read my own books. Not least because the last anthology I was in, I didn't like the other two stories. That sounds awful, but it's true.

Anyway, I've read one of the other three stories in this anthology and I liked it. Yay! But I'm just not in the mood for romantic comedy right now.

There's a book on my shelf that I've been meaning to read for months. In fact, a writer's forum that I'm on is doing a workshop on Steampunk this week, so I really, really SHOULD read this book. ("Clockwork Heart" by Dru Pagliasotti) But now I feel forced to read it, which makes me cranky.

Hmph. This is starting to feel an awful lot like a "Bag it and go back to bed" kind of morning. I woke up two hours early with a crick in my neck and a horrible fear that I'd slept on my glasses and either broken them or bent them beyond recognition. I hadn't, but it was a touchy few moments while I looked for them.

I still have the crick in my neck.

I also feel like I SHOULD go to the gym this morning. I haven't been since October.

Ok. So. Must be more positive. Must Be Merry!

I'm doing a slimming challenge with some other writer friends and the challenge this week is to get 5 fruits/veggies every day. I know I made it yesterday, so I just have to figure out the rest of the week.

Still need to make my menu for the week, too, so maybe I'll lean veggie on that.

And I'm moving forward on "The Misplaced Marriage" (Victorian historical). I don't know why I write historicals. Everything I've published has been paranormal romantic comedy. People like my paranormal romantic comedies! So why would I screw that up by writing a not-comic historical?

Because I am obviously dumber than I think I am, whale-sized ass notwithstanding.

And because I like that story. There. Dammit. I'm going to write it and Be Merry!

So, off to write for a bit, then the gym, then the grocery shopping. It'll be a full day.

My week in writing

2000 words on The Misplaced Marriage.
2500 words on the Gorgon/Mercenary (no title yet).
Finished A Dark and Stormy Knight, part 1.

Not a bad week's work. Not bad at all.

Also, the house is clean. The laundry's caught up. I've been making dinner -- ok, one night we had pizza -- but other than that, it's been all homemade.

Yes, indeed. This has been a good week, even with my three schedule freakouts. (Three separate links.)

Food for the Poor: Haiti

Like everyone else, seeing the photos of the devastation in Haiti has moved me to tears, but more than that, it's moved me to help. I found a venue for aid that I'd never heard of before through Linnea Sinclair's Yahoo group.

Bonnie Vanak's real job is as an aide worker with Food For The Poor in Haiti and other third world countries in our hemisphere.

You can see some of Bonnie’s aide work here: My Travels.

From Bonnie via the group:

We can donate to her organization at http://www.foodforthepoor.org

This is the donation page for donations on the web.

Tell them to just put "Haiti earthquake" in the comments page and the donation will be earmarked for that purpose.

ALSO:

Musician Wyclef Jean set up a site to support Haiti back in 2005. They are collecting $$, and every cent goes to the relief. You can text “yele” to 501501 to donate $5 to the Yéle Haiti Earthquake Fund (it charges on your cell phone bill).

For more info and to donate more $$, you can visit here: http://www.yele.org

Libraries

I like Thursdays. On Thursdays, I volunteer at my son's school library. I spend two hours reshelving, sorting and tidying, chatting with the librarian, and helping little kids find the magic that exists within the binding of a book.

I love that I get to keep up with the latest trends in kid lit, which is very different than what I learn every other Tuesday, which I spend at the middle school library. There, it's more about YA and the sad discovery that most middle school kids don't read. I was there for 2 hours and checked out 3 books.

But I love it when the readers come in. I'm sure that the 13 year olds are not expecting to be able to talk about PC Cast or some of the other hot YA authors and series with a squishy, middle-aged mom, but once we start talking books, it all goes away. It's just two fanatics, mutually loving the written word.

In another life, I might have been a librarian. DD is actually considering it as one of many career options, along with dog catcher, rock star and author/illustrator of children's books.

Remember having all those possibilities stretched out in front of you when you were 12?

In other news, we've now been playing Risk for 5 nights and we're all still on the board. Gah!

Schedule

I checked out today's Small Thing and, honestly, it's not as bad as I was afraid it might be. In fact, it's extremely generous, as far as schedules go.

I still can't do it, but it's nice to know that I can let go of my FlyLady/Martha Stewart/June Cleaver sphincter-tightening impulse. (Sorry. Having a Wayne's World moment.)

I tend not to say, "It's Wednesday. That means it's time to ... whatever." Because I guarantee that trying that is the surest way to get me to park it in front of a marathon of Lifetime movies.

Instead, I think I'm liking the Min Maint thing because as long as I'm picking up, I often do a little bit more.

For instance, this morning I was putting a load of towels in the wash, which meant I had to do some clearing out of DD's last load, which she had left folded, but on top of the machines.

I got the towels in the machine, then realized that I had finally used enough of my bucket of homemade detergent that I could probably pour it into an empty bottle now.

As long as that was done, I suddenly had space where the 5-gallon bucket used to be. May as well clean off some of the other stuff on the counter. 15 minutes later, my laundry room is tidier than it's been in months! I even cleared out the drawers of gloves, taking the singles and putting them in a basket in the hall closet where I collect the strays.

So it may not be scheduled, but it's in my head. Maybe that's all it ever needs to be.

Hmm. Something to think about.

So I freaked out a little

Ok, kind of a lot. See? That's what the word "schedule" does to me.

Cleansing breaths, Susan. Breathe in, breathe out.

The house is clean. Even DH noticed! In fact, it was so clean that as soon as the last dishwasher cycle finished, I realized that the inside of the washer was gritty-grimy, so I unloaded it, took the racks out and scrubbed it, too.

Now it's running empty but for a cup of vinegar. I've never cleaned a dishwasher before -- yes, that's right. I never realized you were supposed to clean your dishwasher -- so I had to look online for instructions.

But yay for a clean house! This makes me Merry!

To schedule or not to schedule

Today's "Small Thing" is to write out a timeline of your day and see where you actually spend your time. I know where I spend my time. I'm online most of the day until it's time to make dinner.

I'm writing, I'm reading, I'm talking.

For the last several months, I've been making time to get up and do a Min Maint sort of thing around the house so it doesn't all go to hell. It's usually in the mornings after the first fires have been put out, but it could be around lunch time or sometime before the kids get home. Whenever the words aren't coming, or I'm stuck on a scene and just need to get away from that blinking, taunting cursor, I'll get up and get the dishes into the dishwasher, or swipe down the bathrooms or something.

Yesterday, the Small Thing was to write down all the stuff that we need to do to keep the house manageable. I did that, and discovered that, yeah, for the most part, those things get done as often as they should. Ok, not the mopping, but it DOES get done.

Today's Small Thing, however, seems to be leading up to something that makes me intensely uncomfortable. A daily/hourly schedule for cleaning.

I've been working on my housekeeping skills for the last...I don't know...five years? Every year, I made a schedule. Dust on Mondays, Clean bathrooms on Tuesdays, etc, etc.

I even did an hourly schedule. From 9:00-9:15, dust living room. That didn't even last a day, much less a week.

Last year, for the first time, I stopped doing that. I decided to work with what I really am, instead of trying to force myself into a mold of what I Should Be and Should Do.

I am 39, smart, funny, snarky and I'm ADD. I don't take medicine because, dammit, I don't want to. My life isn't perfect, but it's who I am. I screw up, I fall behind, I make mistakes, but you know what? So does everyone else. Including people who aren't ADD. And it has taken me this long to learn to start playing to my strengths and not focusing on my weaknesses.

I suck at schedules. There. I said it. Every time someone puts the word "schedule" up, I start to get twitchy.

So, I'm not going to do today's Small Thing. Today, I'm going to sit back and watch where it's going.

And even if it gets all scheduley, I'm not going to freak. I like the Company Girl concept and I like the Min Maint thing, so I'm keeping those. I don't have to keep everything. It's going to be okay.

Gah!

Ok, so yesterday didn't quite turn out as well as I'd have liked.

I mean, I did the Min Maint and the house was all picked up. Even the kitchen got to an 85% solution -- not great, but it's been tons worse. And I was able to put the finishing touches on my Valentine's Day story, but that was about it.

I didn't get all my errands run, dinner didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, and the kitchen's a wreck again. Even though the housekeeper is coming in today, I just feel like there's no way I can get it all done.

I hate to wake up feeling overwhelmed, you know?

There are some days where you look around after a day of working and you feel accomplished.

Yesterday was not that day. I look around and go, what happened? Nothing I did made even the slightest difference!

Not to mention, I didn't sleep well and had nightmares about my dog being lost (I think) and then covered in fleas. Like, a carpet of them. It was horrible.

A fresh week

Mondays are always filled with promise, I think.

The kids are at school, DH is at work. It's just me and the dog and the eleventy billion things that I Have to do, Should do, and Want to do. And the stuff on the Want list usually isn't on the other two.

Last night, I started reading a book called "HOME COMFORTS: The Art and Science of Keeping House." The author is a bit didactic, but I'm trying to look past that. I'm just trying to find a way to make this work.

Reading the intro, it's less about this chore or that chore, but about the evolution of making a home a sanctuary, and how housekeeping has become a list of things we check off our list to clean the house, but we never seem to be able to find that spirit of comfort and love within our homes.

I think she's got a point, there. I can clean and clean, but I *do* feel like something is missing. The cleaning is only part of it, so this journey is part of Being Merry. I want to Be Merry in my home. Feel as though this is somewhere I want to be with my family, where we can invite people over to share what we have.

Anyway, her first chapter is about setting up a manageable schedule. And what do you know? That's today's Small Thing! I think the universe is maybe trying to tell me something, you know?

So I made my list of Must Dos for home maintenance and I discovered that my absolute most hated tasks were the things I now get to schedule at least once a month for the housekeeper. Honestly, these were the things that I hated to do so badly, I never seemed to get around to them, and they caused me massive stress because I always felt guilty. Now at least they're getting done once a month, where before they would pile up for months and months on end.

I admit. I do feel bad that I have to hire someone to do these tasks. I feel selfish and lazy, but on the other hand, if having someone do these few things means that I can worry less about my floors, and be more gracious about having friends drop in, then I'm going to learn to get over it.

Also, having someone clean my house gives me a day to do nothing but write without distractions. Woohoo!

Minimum Maintenance:
Dining Room - check
Living Room - check
Bedroom - check
Master bath - check
Laundry room - check
Hall bath - check
Dishes - check
Counters - check
Tables - nope
Desk - nope

Risk

When is this game of RISK going to freaking end?!? We've been playing for three nights now and no one is off the board yet! I've almost got Asia in the bag, but I don't have very many armies to defend it and not enough to attack anyone else. At this point, I'm about to just TRY to start losing.

I swear, my attention span is too short for this game.

A week of Small Things

I did all right this week!

The house is in decent shape although my bedroom could really do with half an hour of serious effort.

The kids are on their 2nd snow day, and we went sledding yesterday! I hate the cold, but that was a lot of fun.

Dinner has been homemade and on time all week.

I interviewed a housekeeper who will come in once a month starting next Tuesday -- and I can afford her! I interviewed 3 people and the other two both charged nearly twice as much!!

Janet Napolitano is either 1) a complete and utter moron, or 2) has her foot shoved so far down her throat it will never, ever, ever come out and she should stop talking immediately. You're doing a heckuva job, BrowJanet!

The writing is going well! I've made significant progress on 3 stories this week.
*I started with a new paranormal romantic comedy short for a Free Read that will come out this summer.
*Then I switched gears to my Victorian romance. Very formal voice. Completely different from the rom-coms.
*And last night, I decided to work on another wip (work in progress). A paranormal romantic comedy about a Gorgon and a foul-mouthed mercenary.

This has been a very, very good week!

What? I can't understand you!

Today's Small Thing is to communicate clearly. Say what you mean instead of expecting people to infer, figure it out, or use ESP. I try to be clear, but I don't always succeed.

One of my husband's favorite sayings is "Words mean things!"

To which I promptly respond, "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe."

It drives him nuts, thereby making it one of my favorite forms of entertainment. *gg*

In truth, words mean different things to different people. We're a subjective population, not an objective one.

One of the lessons drummed into me during my Communication studies is that it is the speaker's responsibility to make sure that the listener understands -- to a point.

For instance, when I tell my 12yo daughter to do her Algebra homework, I have to assume she understands that I mean for her to do ALL her Algebra homework.

But when I tell my 9yo son to clean his room, I know that it's easier for him to understand if I break it into sections, i.e. "Pick up all your laundry, then put away all your Snap Circuits. After you've done that, come talk to me and I'll let you know what else you need to do."

You tailor your communication to meet the needs of your audience, then everyone is happy!

Writing Crap

Today's Small Thing is to do something halfway. Kind of a kick in the pants of the Messy Perfectionist.

Basically, go do something half-assed, because half-assed is better than no ass at all. *gg* I just like saying 'ass.' It's the inner 12yo coming out again.

I already know what I'm going to do halfway. I'm going to write crap. Turn off the internal editor, not worry about finding THE perfect word, but just get as much of the story down as I can. I can fix and fiddle and tweak later, but today, I'm giving myself permission to NOT write perfectly.

Also, I might do a half-assed job of cleaning up my kitchen.

*snicker* Why is that word so funny?

ETA: There. I washed the dishes, but I haven't wiped off the countertops. Ok, I'll probably do that before I start to cook, but I've got to go run errands now, so I'm leaving the counters for now. A job half-done!

Mope Day

Ok, so I didn't do yesterday's Small Thing. I also didn't exercise or drink a bottle of water. I should have realized it, but yesterday was a regularly scheduled Mope Day.

It's like the first day of a TDY. I always took that day to sit around and mope. Eat chocolate. Watch movies. Read.

Since yesterday was the first day that everyone went back to school/work, it didn't occur to me that I'd feel like I needed to mope, but I really did.

However, I'm only allowed one Mope Day. Today, I have to pull up my socks and get with the program!

Today's Small Thing is "Minimum Maintenance." Basically, spending a few minutes every day straightening up so it never becomes a real monster.

Speaking of cleaning, today I'm having a cleaning service come and do an estimate. I don't need anyone in weekly or even bi-weekly. Just a monthly service to come help so it doesn't get out of control. It's been almost two months since the last cleaning and the place could do with a good cleaning.

ETA: I did it! I just went through all the rooms and picked up for a few minutes. The house looks much better now!

Small Thing 1/4

Today's Small Thing is to fill a kitchen trash bag with trash from around the house. You can drag the bag around from room to room, or you can stand in one spot, like I did, and start dumping. It is liberating to clear the debris and get it out of the house! Saying goodbye is easier than you think.

POINTS: 40 for filling one 13 gallon bag.

BONUS POINTS: 20 points for each additional bag, up to 3 (60 extra points!)

I'll report back when I've filled the trash bag!

Slimming Down

Well, hey. I've lost a whole 1.5 lbs since 1/1. Probably not a good idea to weigh myself after an eating binge like that.

So today I start at 157.0

My goals for the week are:

This week, I'm going to make a menu that's based on whole foods.

Finish re-reading "The French Don't Diet."

Drink 1 bottle of water/day. That's about 3 1/2 glasses of water, which would be an improvement.

I'm going to get on the Wii Fit.

Resume my knee exercises because they really did help when I was doing them.

Get to the gym 3 times.

Progress

Yesterday, I reorganized my pantry and discovered that although I do have some stuff in there that I could live without, I'm pretty well-stocked, overall. Need more canned tomatoes, but my pantry holds a lot of healthy ingredients.

I can do this.

It doesn't feel like Saturday + Recipe

My days are all messed up. DH gets the entire Christmas holiday off, so everyone's been in the house since the 23rd. It's fun to have us all together without worrying about schedules, but now that Christmas is over, I'm ready to go back to 'normal,' such as it is.

Also, we missed the trash pickup for the 2nd week in a row since the days are all messed up. We don't generate a ton of trash, but I'm going to be hard pressed to get the lid fastened next week.

In the spirit of Eating Well, I'll offer my easy, quick Hoppin John recipe.

2 strips of bacon
1/2 large onion, chopped
1 celery stick, chopped
1 large carrot, peeled and chopped
1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
1/2 green bell pepper chopped

2 cans black-eyed peas, drained and rinsed
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp Tony Chachere's seasoning (it's a staple at our house -- it goes on everything) If you don't have it, then salt, pepper, cayenne, garlic powder...whatever seasonings call to you at the moment.

Fry the bacon in a saucepan until brown. Remove and reserve for something else that needs cooked bacon. Dump in all the chopped veggies. Cook over medium heat, stirring often, until the onions are golden and soft, 8-10 minutes.

Add the black-eyed peas, stock, and seasonings. Bring to a boil, cover halfway, then simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

I don't add the full 2 cups of stock because I don't like my Hoppin John too wet. I usually serve it over rice, but last night, it was just a side dish on its own.

Happy New Year!

We made it to 2010! Yay!

I can guarantee that I've upheld at least two of my NYRs today: Eat and Drink. I'm stuffed. We had a neighborhood brunch and I feel like I ate my weight in pancakes, sausage, strata and cinnamon bread. That last little dollop of Bailey's in my coffee put the kicker on the morning and now I'm just ... bleurgh.

I ate too much. Still, I meant for today to be a splurge, so I won't regret it. Dinner will be pretty healthy -- Glazed ham, Hoppin John over rice, with cabbage on the side. Ok, so there will be bacon involved, but not in massive quantities. And I can tell you right now that absolutely none of that sounds appealing at this moment.

This blog is still pretty new, so I'm not sure exactly how I'll be using it. Probably for the stuff that really doesn't belong on my writing blog. For instance, I hope to keep track of my weight here. Trust me. Readers don't want to know that stuff.

I gained probably 10 lb this year. I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 158.5. That's not acceptable and I'm fairly disgusted that it got to this point. I belong to Curves and I know how to eat, but I gained 5 lbs from Oct-Dec. I didn't work out and I completely abandoned any principles of good eating.

I also joined a website called Home Sanctuary. It's about doing Small Things around the house that add up. Makes sense. I mean, you can do anything for 5 minutes, right? Or 10 or 15. Little things are easier than "Clean the whole house."

So we'll see how that goes. I really am getting better with the housekeeping, but I need to stay committed to it. And you know, it might even fall under the category of "Be Merry" in my list of Resolutions. After all, it's much easier to be merry in a clean house, rather than being miserable because the house is a wreck and there's so much work to do to get it clean.