Serenity Now

Today, y’all get the confluence of a few things that have been flowing in my life that aren’t necessarily about writing, certainly aren’t paranormal, but they do influence my writing.

First, what genius thought up perimenopause? Because this betwixt and between stage is like the hell-end of purgatory and I can see the fire and brimstone from here.

*Deep breaths. Serenity now.*

I sometimes wish I was more crunchy granola with the whole maiden/mother/crone, moving through life stages, welcoming a change in fertility, yadda yadda yadda. This is a freaking nightmare. I can’t think and the mood swings should come with a warning claxon that screams, “Step away from your mother! Maintain peace at all costs! Go to your room if you value your life!”

*More deep breaths. Serenity now, please.*

Second, ADD can be kind of fun. Things that were lost become new again when found. This is not actually so when the lost thing is a bill.

*Whoo. Getting light headed. And was I not asking for serenity loudly enough?*

The mood swings are killing my writing, too. I am currently on my fifth version of this @#$*& Steampunk story. It’s not enough, apparently, that even though I started it four years ago it now looks like I’m just jumping on the bandwagon. No. Now I realize that because I have no magical or paranormal elements to it, I’m actually writing science fiction – and I swore I’d never write science fiction because the worldbuilding and the details are an absolute killer. Welcome to my fictional nightmare.

*Screw the deep breathing. Where the hell is my serenity?*

So. Wildly fluctuating hormone levels, wonky brain chemistry, and worldbuilding that is sapping my will to live. I haven’t decided whether to go Virginia Woolf or Mad Max with this little crossroads of life. But you know what I do want?

SERENITY NOW!!!!!

Forgetful

I wonder if normal people do this, or if it’s a function of my ADD, or what. I can’t remember big things that happen.

I mean, I remember my kid’s birthdays and when I got married, but I was trying to think today of when I had my hysterectomy. I know I had it in September, the year we moved from England to South Carolina. But that’s it. I define time by where we lived, not WHEN we lived.

I forget how old I am. Sometimes I’m older, sometimes I’m younger. Well, I’m not often younger. *gg* I have to do the math to remember, which is okay because at least I was born in an easy year to add from — 1970. Unlike my dh, who was born in ‘62, which is harder to do sums from.

I think I need to write a master list of where I’ve lived and the years we were there. I mean, I know that we moved from Louisiana to Virginia on The Monkey Princess’s 1st birthday, so I can figure out when we did that. And that we celebrated Monkey Boy’s 1st birthday in temporary quarters at RAF Lakenheath, so I can do that math.

But man, I wish I could just remember stuff like regular people.

How do y’all do it?

Risk

When is this game of RISK going to freaking end?!? We've been playing for three nights now and no one is off the board yet! I've almost got Asia in the bag, but I don't have very many armies to defend it and not enough to attack anyone else. At this point, I'm about to just TRY to start losing.

I swear, my attention span is too short for this game.