What next?

I haven't done a ton of research, just a quick blitz overview on opinions about being a feminist, secular and Christian homemaker. I actually concentrated on secular homemaking and 3rd wave feminism for a couple of reasons.

First, too many Christian homemaker sites are about submission, obedience, a woman's place, etc. They're trying so damn hard to prove how holy they are that they end up being extremely angry people who can't have a discussion about an alternate viewpoint without throwing around irrational invective.

I'm a Christian, so I find that very embarrassing. You can't talk to people like that.

I also did a little reading on how people reconcile feminism and homemaking. There remains this divide between working moms and SAHMs. The Mommy Wars continue and frankly, I'm over it. It was stupid 12 yrs ago and it's stupid now.

I'm a SAHM because it was the most logical thing to do as my husband was military. I went through a period of trying to find my place in the world that wasn't just about mothering. You know what? The first 3-4 years of being a mom are just plain hard and even though some parts are great, some aren't.

They don't last forever and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

So reading up on 3rd wave feminism has been interesting. It's a movement very much rooted in personal ideology, rather than sweeping social or political change, although those aspects are still at the forefront of the movement.

But for me, it basically means that I'm not tied to my kitchen because I have no choice. Well, duh.

I've been out of the 'workforce' for...well, forever. I was never really in it. I was a professional student with a series of part-time jobs before I got married.

I recently began considering what I would do if I had to go back to work for pay. You know what? I would hate it. I am not meant to do the 9-5 cubicle thing. Even before I married and had kids, I would have hated it. Where's the freedom of choice in that? It's not that I find immense fulfillment in scrubbing toilets, but being a SAHM has allowed me the freedom to pursue a career that HAS been fulfilling. Something that I honestly would not have been able to do if I was trying to do the Supermom thing.

When DS was about 15 months old and DD was 4, I started writing. Suddenly, I wasn't just a mom. I was a writer, too. And it's been, overall, pretty awesome.

As I mentioned, I've been writing for almost 8 years now and I'm starting to wonder if it's time for another transition. I remember when an author I knew quite writing few years ago and I thought, "Who would give this up?"

I get it now. I really do. I'm burning out. It's all about production and pace and publishing and promoting now.

So now I'm asking the same question I asked 8 yrs ago. What comes next?