Haven't decided yet

I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to quit writing or not. I have a couple of blog posts to do, but unless my editor picks up my latest submission -- which she shouldn't because it sucks -- I think I may hang this up.

I'm not succeeding and I can't take it. I understand that my bar is unreasonably high. I understand that I will never, ever make that jump. I've been throwing myself at it for years, but because of what I write and how I write, I'm not going to make it to the top.

I suppose I have succeeded to some extent. I am published. I get paid. I have readers, I suppose. To a lot of people, that's success.

I don't even really know what my definition of success is, to be honest. Is it NY? Maybe.

But once I get there, then what? The bar keeps moving.

I'm deciding. By Jan 1, I'll have made my decision, for better or worse. I'll either be a writer, or I won't.