Caffeine and Paper

Over 3 months gone

2010-09-20T17:00:00.000-07:00

Summer's over. Thank God. We were on the go the whole summer, with an extra push right at the end.

Then school started, which is its own version of chaos.

Then DD pulled the World's Dumbest Stunt and got suspended. We're just over halfway through her 10 days. I've been stunned, sad, angry and despairing, but we've kept up with her school work and we're just making it through.

The story I contracted back in April is through edits and should be available in November.

The house is in decent shape, mostly because my ILs were here for the weekend, so the kids and I did a mega-clean. The trick is to keep it this way.

Now I'm finally finding my mind again and looking around to see how I'm doing with those New Years Resolutions. Eat, Drink and Be Merry.

Eat - Well, I've lost 3 lbs so far this year. Yeah. Woohoo.

Drink - Good wine, good coffee, could use more water.

Be Merry - You know, it's been kind of a tough year so far. It really has. The Be Merry thing has worked out about as well as the Eat thing. But I'm going to keep working on it. '

Glad to be back.

A big weekend

2010-06-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

DD turned 13 on Friday.
Yesterday, she "became a woman."
I'm all verklempt. *sniffle*

But boy is she gonna be peeved when she finds out she can't go to the pool this week!

That's all right. Today, we start the library summer reading program and our summer school work. Yes, I'm a mean mom who makes my kids do a whole 10-15 minutes of school work/day during the summer. DD especially needs to learn Spanish because she goofed off so much during the school year that it was a total waste.

The rest of it, though -- math and writing -- is just to make sure that they don't totally lose what they've learned. And DD needs to learn how to outline and structure an essay because, I swear, the school REFUSES to teach these kids how to write!

DD finally had to write a 3 paragraph essay about something, did a terrible job, and still made a B! I'm peeved, to say the least. This was the Challenge Language Arts class and their standards are impossibly low. Well, my kid is going to learn how to write well if it kills us both!

And honestly, she's a good writer. It's just that no one has ever taught her how to structure and plan out her writing. It's frustrating.

But for now, I'm off to work out!

Ok. Here's the plan.

2010-05-29T05:58:00.000-07:00

I like making plans. They look so pretty on paper. Real life tends to make them messy, but at least I have a direction to head, right?

Yesterday was my last day of work! Yay!!!

I have a rather dreadful feeling that DH intends to rip out a chunk of my kitchen this weekend, so that means I need to clear off the counters so he has space to work.

Honestly, the plan is to finally clean the damn house. Since I started working, housework fell completely off the radar and I’m starting to ick myself out here. So that’s the first priority. Tidy first, toss the junk, sort the rest, then scrub. That’ll take the weekend, working in small chunks.

Tuesday will be at the library, at the grocery store, running all the errands that need to be run. I’m on my last roll of paper towels here, and I gotta stock up. We were supposed to go to the case lot sale at the Scott AFB Commissary last weekend, but we blew it off, so now it’s just me and Sam’s Club.

Still have family administrative stuff to do — things to register and de-register for, bills to pay, forms to fill out. Just all the little stuff that falls through the cracks while mommy’s brain is in neutral.

And then? Once all that stuff is either done or sorted by Wednesday or Thursday?

Then, I write.

Catching Up

2010-04-09T05:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a few weeks since I've checked in at Home Sanctuary, which is kind of base point for my blog.

You know the story -- life got busy, projects came up, and the dh and I had a huuuuuge fight over the once-a-month housekeepers. Still working around that one.

I spent a chunk of last weekend at an academic conference for the Popular Culture Association of America. OMG SO COOL!!! Surrounded by geeks! Smart geeks! Brilliant geeks! Geeks who make me feel small and humble and not-real-bright, but they wanted to talk to me anyway!! I went as part of a panel discussion on romance publishing, and because they spend their time analyzing the literature (yes! They actually do serious literary critical analysis of popular romance!) they were fascinated by the writing and publishing process, market influences, cover art decisions, etc. All the stuff that romance writers take as part of their regular business day. It was way cool. :)

Anyway, I'm back. I have been keeping up with my reading log on the side, and I'm up to 39 books. I don't normally have reading goals, since I read all the time, but I'm pretty sure I can make 100 this year without too much effort.

Getting a new freezer today! In fact, the delivery men are here now. We joined a local Community Supported Agriculture group -- kind of a food co-op where all the food is local, from small farms, and as naturally raised as possible. We're splitting our share with another family, so we'll get a box every other week, but we needed a freezer anyway. I'm not able to take advantage of big sales on meat and other things because I have nowhere to store it. Now, I'm ready!

The house looks pretty good. And not just because the housekeepers were here. I've been keeping up with it on my own! I still hate to do floors and dust, but the rest isn't so bad.

I got a contract on the story I submitted in December. After I got the e-mail from my editor, I looked over the story for the first time since I turned it in. It's rough, but fixable.

And that's about it.
Yay freezer.
Yay contract.
Yay conference.
Sad about fighting with hubby, but we're working on it.

headdesk repeatedly

2010-03-18T13:22:00.001-07:00

I can't whine about this stuff on my author blog because it's not kosher to rant about the stupid stuff I read where fellow authors can read it. But here? I'm just me, so y'all get to listen to me get all red in the face. Which doesn't make sense, but then, neither does the hero of the book I just started reading.

1. He's a geek. A seriously techy guy who listens to indy Steampunk bands in his free time.
2. He's a Quaker. This is where things start to go off the rails.
3. He drinks and swears and listens to techno-punk, the last of which isn't specifically prohibited by the Friends, but doesn't really go along with their thing of not being angry people. But the first two? No-nos for the Quakers.
4. He joined the military. Our ALL-VOLUNTEER forces. But he didn't want to shoot things, he just wanted to play with the gadgets like "Q" or something from the Bond movies.
5. Since this is a romance novel -- even though I haven't gotten very far into it -- I'm going to assume that at some point he'll be having sex with the heroine. Quaker + premarital sex = #religionfail. That's not to say that Christians don't have premarital sex, or that I don't personally write premarital sex in my romances. But since she's making a big deal out of his religious viewpoint, it just feels ooky.

All of this leads to me to a couple of questions: Why is he a Quaker? Why join such a fringe group?

You know, I have no problem with true conscientious objectors. I really don't. Everyone's got their reasons for believing what they do and far be it from me to tell folks they have to shoot at other people to be "real men" or "real Americans" or whatever.

This guy? Is a moron. What kind of idiot signs up for the military, but refuses to carry a weapon? It's not like there weren't a hundred thousand other things he could have done, but no. He's got to join up while we're at war. Frakking idiot. I mean, you HAVE to learn how to fire a weapon to get through the training program -- officer or enlisted. How does he get around that?

Even if he didn't join the Quakers until after he left the military, why? Why not just say, "I won't ever pick up a weapon again" which would be infinitely simpler?

But the thing that bothers me the most is the slippery veneer of spirituality that she had to paint on to somehow justify his unwillingness to shoot people. She couldn't have just made him a geek who doesn't know how to shoot. Most people in this country don't know how to shoot. But why, why, why twist him into this quasi-religious pacifist with completely illogical military experience?

You know why? BAD WRITING!!! I can't finish this book. The hero is stupid and I'm not required to spend my time reading about stupid people.

It makes me even madder that I've been waiting to read this book for ages because I've been dying for good Steampunk romance. hmph.

In case you're wondering, the book is Steamed by Katie MacAlister.

Comfort Reads

2010-03-08T06:04:00.000-08:00

I’ve recently been in a state where I would wander to my TBR pile, realize that the very idea of it scared me, and I’d scamper back to my most well-worn, dog-eared copies of books that I’ve read over and over through the years.

I needed my Comfort Reads. Most of us have them. They clutter along the backs and edges of our bookshelves. Not quite stylish or cutting-edge enough to be displayed with the new shiny covers, but you can’t quite get rid of them, either. You might even own more than one copy because when you needed it, you couldn’t find it, so you rushed out to buy another one.

I just did that. I know I own Jodi Thomas’s The Texan’s Wager, but I also know it’s downstairs somewhere in a box. And I needed to read it NOW. When I went to the UBS, there it was. It sang to me, y’all. I could hear it.

It’s not just old books that comfort me, either. It’s authors who are familiar and easy. I got a new Jayne Castle novel. I like her other incarnations just fine, but the futuristics she writes as Jayne Castle are just to my taste. Especially those little fluffy things with teeth. I love those guys. This one doesn’t seem to be set in quite the same society, but I’m looking forward to it nonetheless. There’s just something about her style that makes me happy.

You know what else I’ve picked up? Christine Feehan. One Carpathian novel from the library and one Ghostwalker book from the UBS. Feehan is my crack. When I’m sane, I can pick them apart like nobody’s business (God love her), but I always feel like such a hypocrite because I Love These Books. Not in a “Wow! This book is awesome!” kind of way, but in a sticky, gooey, SyFy, made-for-TV movie kind of way.

Honestly, I’m not even sure these books make me feel better so that I can suck it up and face the day, or if they just make my wallowing place more comfortable. Either way, I’m not giving up my comfort reads.

What do you read when you’re feeling down?

Yesterday was pretty cool

2010-03-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

The weekend was heinous, but Monday, aside from a shaky start, was pretty awesome overall.

I’ve applied for a job as a library assistant at a nearby middle school. As I was filling out the application, I realized that I’ve been volunteering in school libraries for the last 7 years. And for the last 2 years, I’ve juggled 2 libraries. Both of the librarians I work with wrote me lovely letters of recommendation.

This is an affirmation. I don’t suck. I am not a horrible person.

They also personally e-mailed the librarian who advertised for the assistant.

I don’t suck. I am not a horrible person.

I got more fan mail about “A Dark and Stormy Knight”! Yay!! I’m writing the next installment, but I got stuck until it was time to go to bed last night, when I got UNstuck, so now I can keep writing today. More conflict!

I am not a horrible person. I am a half-decent writer.

Also, dinner turned out well. It was just homemade sloppy joes, but I also found fresh green beans at the grocery store, so I steamed them until they were juuuust done, then tossed them real quickly in a bit of browned butter with a pinch of salt. Perfect! I could have eaten the whole pot!

And you know what else? I have friends who rock. I really do. They’ve absolutely got my back and that’s an amazing feeling.

I am NOT a horrible person. I’m not all sweetness and light, but I’m also not crap on the bottom of someone’s shoe.

I CAN write.

And I can cook, too.

A fresh Monday

2010-03-01T05:18:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty lax in the household area for a few weeks now. One of my inevitable downturns, I suppose, but it's not too late to try to pick it back up.

It's the little things that are piling up. I haven't been doing my Minimum Maintenance, so I've got bits and pieces everywhere, on the verge of becoming overwhelming. But if I can pull it together now, then I'll still be on top.

So.

7:30 - Starting with laundry, then a shower.

Serenity Now

2010-02-19T07:38:00.001-08:00

Today, y’all get the confluence of a few things that have been flowing in my life that aren’t necessarily about writing, certainly aren’t paranormal, but they do influence my writing.

First, what genius thought up perimenopause? Because this betwixt and between stage is like the hell-end of purgatory and I can see the fire and brimstone from here.

*Deep breaths. Serenity now.*

I sometimes wish I was more crunchy granola with the whole maiden/mother/crone, moving through life stages, welcoming a change in fertility, yadda yadda yadda. This is a freaking nightmare. I can’t think and the mood swings should come with a warning claxon that screams, “Step away from your mother! Maintain peace at all costs! Go to your room if you value your life!”

*More deep breaths. Serenity now, please.*

Second, ADD can be kind of fun. Things that were lost become new again when found. This is not actually so when the lost thing is a bill.

*Whoo. Getting light headed. And was I not asking for serenity loudly enough?*

The mood swings are killing my writing, too. I am currently on my fifth version of this @#$*& Steampunk story. It’s not enough, apparently, that even though I started it four years ago it now looks like I’m just jumping on the bandwagon. No. Now I realize that because I have no magical or paranormal elements to it, I’m actually writing science fiction – and I swore I’d never write science fiction because the worldbuilding and the details are an absolute killer. Welcome to my fictional nightmare.

*Screw the deep breathing. Where the hell is my serenity?*

So. Wildly fluctuating hormone levels, wonky brain chemistry, and worldbuilding that is sapping my will to live. I haven’t decided whether to go Virginia Woolf or Mad Max with this little crossroads of life. But you know what I do want?

SERENITY NOW!!!!!

Forgetful

2010-02-17T11:32:00.000-08:00

I wonder if normal people do this, or if it’s a function of my ADD, or what. I can’t remember big things that happen.

I mean, I remember my kid’s birthdays and when I got married, but I was trying to think today of when I had my hysterectomy. I know I had it in September, the year we moved from England to South Carolina. But that’s it. I define time by where we lived, not WHEN we lived.

I forget how old I am. Sometimes I’m older, sometimes I’m younger. Well, I’m not often younger. *gg* I have to do the math to remember, which is okay because at least I was born in an easy year to add from — 1970. Unlike my dh, who was born in ‘62, which is harder to do sums from.

I think I need to write a master list of where I’ve lived and the years we were there. I mean, I know that we moved from Louisiana to Virginia on The Monkey Princess’s 1st birthday, so I can figure out when we did that. And that we celebrated Monkey Boy’s 1st birthday in temporary quarters at RAF Lakenheath, so I can do that math.

But man, I wish I could just remember stuff like regular people.

How do y’all do it?

A fairy tale for your Valentine's Day

2010-02-12T06:52:00.001-08:00

A couple of years ago, I decided to try a new style of writing and came up with a tweaked version of one of my favorite Norse fairy tales.

I posted it on my author website and people seem to enjoy it, so I thought I'd give it to you here.

Runespell

New reading

2010-02-03T06:25:00.000-08:00

Obviously, I did some serious glomming onto Lora Leigh. Some pretty uneven writing, imo. Some books were really wonderful, others were just a thin plot strung together with sex scenes. Not good.

I finally finished reading Seize the Fire by Laura Kinsale, who is one of my all time favorite historical romance authors. I think she writes amazing heroes. Her heroines are ok, but I read for the heroes. This one had pretty severe PTSD, depression, suicidal thoughts. He was awesome!! Yeah, I'm weird that way. *lol*

So now I'm reading The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins. It's said to be the first English detective novel. I love Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh and Dorothy L Sayers, so I'm looking forward to this.

The blast was contained

2010-02-01T05:22:00.000-08:00

Thanks to everyone who stopped by and read and commented on my Friday post!

The weekend actually turned out pretty well.

Oliver did have surgery on Friday. He's always had a sensitive stomach and when he feels icky, he eats grass to try to make himself throw up. It turns out that he ate so much grass, though, that some of it wove itself together into a mass in his stomach that blocked everything from moving on. Over half a pound of grass. My dog thinks he's a cow. The vet said it's only the second time she's seen that in 26 years.

He's recovering very well. Has staples rather than stitches, but he can't get to them to lick or pull them out because they're so high on his belly. Yay!

The Pinewood Derby turned out great, too! DS won 2nd place in Best Concept Car! He didn't win any of the races, but he's been carrying that trophy with him since he won it. Seriously. He takes it downstairs to watch TV, he brings it to the dinner table, he takes it to his room with him to sleep.

Yesterday, we were huge layabouts. I read 5 books. It was awesome. I made my Moroccan Meatballs in Tomato Sauce with Poached Eggs for dinner. Tonight is a crockpot Italian Sausage Stew.

And for more great news, I lost 2 lbs! I don't like that I have to do Slimfast to do it, but it's working. Yay!

See this grenade? Pull the pin. I dare you.

2010-01-29T06:57:00.000-08:00

DH — What do you mean you didn’t glue the stars on Monkey Boy’s Pinewood Derby car?!? By the way, I’ll be home late and probably won’t be able to help set up the Derby at the school gym. (Not his fault — he’s been working 14 hour days for the last two weeks.)

DS — Yay Pinewood Derby! No clue what I’m doing! Also, please tell me a fourth time to do my homework because I love it when you totally lose your cool and shriek like that.

DD — I also love being repeatedly screamed at to do my homework. Because I didn’t hear you the first three times when you asked me reasonably and politely and treated me like a real, functioning human being. Nope. The screaming works for me. Also, I’m failing Geography.

Dog — Hi Mom! Love you, Mom! Sorry I puked on your floor, Mom! *hlrup* Sorry I puked on your floor AGAIN, Mom! Please take me to the vet so I can have surgery to remove the thing that I ate that I wasn’t supposed to eat that’s now blocking up my insides and making me *hlrup* Sorry I puked on your floor, Mom!

Then they all looked at me like they had no idea what was wrong when I finally did lose my mind and pitched a stomping, screaming fit.

So go ahead. Pull the pin on my grenade. At least I won’t have to clean up the mess.

Monday People

2010-01-25T06:17:00.001-08:00

I'm a Monday person. I love them. Probably because I don't have a regular day job to go to. Whatever the reason, I always feel like I get a fresh start on Mondays.

Yesterday, recognizing what a wretched week I'd had before, I sat down with pen and paper and decided that I would NOT let myself sit in the doldrums this week.

Part of this new revitalization is the realization that I don't seem to be able to control my calorie count at all. Portion size, not a problem. Snacking last week was a big issue, but it usually isn't. Not to mention, my 'working out' has been nonexistent. In any case, I'm not losing weight.

So I'm doing something that's rather drastic for me. I'm trying the Slimfast thing. 25 lb in 12 weeks, says the plan. Which is only 2 lb/week, so it's not like a quick fix.

I'm horrible at diets. They always make me want to eat. But I can still have my regular dinners on this plan, so that's good. And I ought to be eating fruits and veggies for snacks anyway. Yes, they're packed with chemical weirdness, but as I said, I can't depend on my own 'eye' to judge how much I'm eating.

So today's plan is:
Curves
Grocery shopping
Writing
Min Maint
Kitchen
Laundry
Dinner out (ok, I'll probably splurge, but I'll do my best)

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!

Not my best week

2010-01-22T15:41:00.000-08:00

It really hasn't been. I've been in a funk all week.

The house is running pretty smoothly. Dinner worked out most nights -- except last night when it took 7 hours to crockpot chicken that should have cooked in 3-5. I had to improvise, so we had Eggs Florentine instead, which is just a fancy way of saying sauteed spinach with poached eggs...and I overcooked the eggs.

I went to the gym one day this week.

I've been hanging out at the Steampunk Workshop I mentioned, but I'm not enjoying it. When the heck did Steampunk turn into nothing more than a new venue for vamps, weres, demons and zombies?!?

Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, but most of the stories that people seem to be writing are just regular paranormals with a thin veil of brass and cogs.

And when I asked if there was a market for Steampunk that didn't have magic or paranormal elements, I was informed that it would probably end up getting sold as Sci-Fi Romance, which is a really bloody difficult sell.

I'm grumpy. I'm going to Bunco tonight, though. Maybe that'll lighten my mood.

This is the anti-Merry.

Steampunk Workshop

2010-01-21T04:38:00.000-08:00

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that the 2 people who read this blog aren't really familiar with a) the inner workings of writing a romance novel or b) weird cross-over genres like Steampunk Romance, which is kind of like Victorian Science Fiction. The Wiki article is very good.

However, if you're interested in getting into the nitty gritty of building an alternate history, plus boy meets girl in goggles, then you might be interested in coming to a Steampunk Workshop that's being hosted FREE at Romance Divas.

Registration is free and the workshop features several authors -- not all romance authors -- who are building the foundation of the genre.

I've got a Steampunk Romance on a back burner, so this is Really Exciting for me!

Bad Mom Alert

2010-01-20T06:58:00.000-08:00

Obviously, I have screwed up somewhere.

My son pitched a fit this morning -- in his quiet, "I'm mad at you but I'm just going to sit here with red eyes and think miserable thoughts at you" kind of way -- because I didn't have the right kind of cereal in the house.

Now, I think he just woke up cranky and if it hadn't been cereal, it would have been something else.

But dang. We weren't OUT of cereal, we just didn't have anything neon-colored.

So I'm torn between feeling like a bad mom because I don't have the right kind of cereal or going all militant-vegan-sugarless on his scrawny little behind. Probably something in between is the right answer.

2010-01-20T05:51:00.000-08:00

Wow, was yesterday not my day.

I watched bad TV all day long. Didn't write. I did make the bed in the morning, and finally got the kitchen cleaned. Made dinner and did one load of laundry.

Last night, I got to take Monkey Boy to his pack meeting where they watched "Down and Derby." Again. Every year, the month of the Pinewood Derby, they watch that movie. I sit out in the hall and read because there is not enough chocolate in the world to make sitting through that dumb movie worthwhile.

On the plus side, I did finally finish reading my anthology -- and I liked all the stories!!

The weird thing, though, was that my story was far and away the steamiest. I think my steam-meter must be off somehow because I do NOT write what could be labeled erotic romance. I read plenty of stuff that's marketed as ER, but mine doesn't come up to that bar. Trust me. I mean, I don't fade to black by any means, but that was kind of a surprise.

I should find out by Feb 1 whether the editor wants my last story or not. I almost pray not. Because it was bad. And I don't want to have to face it in edits.

And I was able to start reading a new-to-me book by Laura Kinsale, who is my absolute most favoritest historical romance author. Her "Flowers From the Storm" is the top of my list for historical romance. Flawless. So it's with great eagerness that I've begun "Seize the Fire."

Also, I'm going to the gym today come hell or high water. Neither of which are likely, to be honest, so I have no excuse.

Finally!

2010-01-19T05:25:00.000-08:00

The 3 1/2 day weekend is over! The kids had only a half-day on Friday. So let's get this schedule straight:
Christmas holiday.
The first week back to school, they only went 3 days, then had 2 snow days.
The second week (last week), they went 4 1/2 days.
The third week (this week) is only 4 days.

Hmph. Maybe I'm just cranky because I can't settle on anything to read. I started "The Dracula Dossier" but even though the story seems interesting, I'm just not in the mood.

I also started reading the anthology I'm in -- yes, I'm a huge chicken and I'm too scared to read my own books. Not least because the last anthology I was in, I didn't like the other two stories. That sounds awful, but it's true.

Anyway, I've read one of the other three stories in this anthology and I liked it. Yay! But I'm just not in the mood for romantic comedy right now.

There's a book on my shelf that I've been meaning to read for months. In fact, a writer's forum that I'm on is doing a workshop on Steampunk this week, so I really, really SHOULD read this book. ("Clockwork Heart" by Dru Pagliasotti) But now I feel forced to read it, which makes me cranky.

Hmph. This is starting to feel an awful lot like a "Bag it and go back to bed" kind of morning. I woke up two hours early with a crick in my neck and a horrible fear that I'd slept on my glasses and either broken them or bent them beyond recognition. I hadn't, but it was a touchy few moments while I looked for them.

I still have the crick in my neck.

I also feel like I SHOULD go to the gym this morning. I haven't been since October.

Ok. So. Must be more positive. Must Be Merry!

I'm doing a slimming challenge with some other writer friends and the challenge this week is to get 5 fruits/veggies every day. I know I made it yesterday, so I just have to figure out the rest of the week.

Still need to make my menu for the week, too, so maybe I'll lean veggie on that.

And I'm moving forward on "The Misplaced Marriage" (Victorian historical). I don't know why I write historicals. Everything I've published has been paranormal romantic comedy. People like my paranormal romantic comedies! So why would I screw that up by writing a not-comic historical?

Because I am obviously dumber than I think I am, whale-sized ass notwithstanding.

And because I like that story. There. Dammit. I'm going to write it and Be Merry!

So, off to write for a bit, then the gym, then the grocery shopping. It'll be a full day.

My week in writing

2010-01-15T14:03:00.000-08:00

2000 words on The Misplaced Marriage.
2500 words on the Gorgon/Mercenary (no title yet).
Finished A Dark and Stormy Knight, part 1.

Not a bad week's work. Not bad at all.

Also, the house is clean. The laundry's caught up. I've been making dinner -- ok, one night we had pizza -- but other than that, it's been all homemade.

Yes, indeed. This has been a good week, even with my three schedule freakouts. (Three separate links.)

Food for the Poor: Haiti

2010-01-14T08:41:00.000-08:00

Like everyone else, seeing the photos of the devastation in Haiti has moved me to tears, but more than that, it's moved me to help. I found a venue for aid that I'd never heard of before through Linnea Sinclair's Yahoo group.

Bonnie Vanak's real job is as an aide worker with Food For The Poor in Haiti and other third world countries in our hemisphere.

You can see some of Bonnie’s aide work here: My Travels.

From Bonnie via the group:

We can donate to her organization at http://www.foodforthepoor.org

This is the donation page for donations on the web.

Tell them to just put "Haiti earthquake" in the comments page and the donation will be earmarked for that purpose.

ALSO:

Musician Wyclef Jean set up a site to support Haiti back in 2005. They are collecting $$, and every cent goes to the relief. You can text “yele” to 501501 to donate $5 to the Yéle Haiti Earthquake Fund (it charges on your cell phone bill).

For more info and to donate more $$, you can visit here: http://www.yele.org

Libraries

2010-01-14T06:22:00.000-08:00

I like Thursdays. On Thursdays, I volunteer at my son's school library. I spend two hours reshelving, sorting and tidying, chatting with the librarian, and helping little kids find the magic that exists within the binding of a book.

I love that I get to keep up with the latest trends in kid lit, which is very different than what I learn every other Tuesday, which I spend at the middle school library. There, it's more about YA and the sad discovery that most middle school kids don't read. I was there for 2 hours and checked out 3 books.

But I love it when the readers come in. I'm sure that the 13 year olds are not expecting to be able to talk about PC Cast or some of the other hot YA authors and series with a squishy, middle-aged mom, but once we start talking books, it all goes away. It's just two fanatics, mutually loving the written word.

In another life, I might have been a librarian. DD is actually considering it as one of many career options, along with dog catcher, rock star and author/illustrator of children's books.

Remember having all those possibilities stretched out in front of you when you were 12?

In other news, we've now been playing Risk for 5 nights and we're all still on the board. Gah!

Schedule

2010-01-13T06:26:00.000-08:00

I checked out today's Small Thing and, honestly, it's not as bad as I was afraid it might be. In fact, it's extremely generous, as far as schedules go.

I still can't do it, but it's nice to know that I can let go of my FlyLady/Martha Stewart/June Cleaver sphincter-tightening impulse. (Sorry. Having a Wayne's World moment.)

I tend not to say, "It's Wednesday. That means it's time to ... whatever." Because I guarantee that trying that is the surest way to get me to park it in front of a marathon of Lifetime movies.

Instead, I think I'm liking the Min Maint thing because as long as I'm picking up, I often do a little bit more.

For instance, this morning I was putting a load of towels in the wash, which meant I had to do some clearing out of DD's last load, which she had left folded, but on top of the machines.

I got the towels in the machine, then realized that I had finally used enough of my bucket of homemade detergent that I could probably pour it into an empty bottle now.

As long as that was done, I suddenly had space where the 5-gallon bucket used to be. May as well clean off some of the other stuff on the counter. 15 minutes later, my laundry room is tidier than it's been in months! I even cleared out the drawers of gloves, taking the singles and putting them in a basket in the hall closet where I collect the strays.

So it may not be scheduled, but it's in my head. Maybe that's all it ever needs to be.

Hmm. Something to think about.

So I freaked out a little

2010-01-12T18:29:00.001-08:00

Ok, kind of a lot. See? That's what the word "schedule" does to me.

Cleansing breaths, Susan. Breathe in, breathe out.

The house is clean. Even DH noticed! In fact, it was so clean that as soon as the last dishwasher cycle finished, I realized that the inside of the washer was gritty-grimy, so I unloaded it, took the racks out and scrubbed it, too.

Now it's running empty but for a cup of vinegar. I've never cleaned a dishwasher before -- yes, that's right. I never realized you were supposed to clean your dishwasher -- so I had to look online for instructions.

But yay for a clean house! This makes me Merry!

To schedule or not to schedule

2010-01-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

Today's "Small Thing" is to write out a timeline of your day and see where you actually spend your time. I know where I spend my time. I'm online most of the day until it's time to make dinner.

I'm writing, I'm reading, I'm talking.

For the last several months, I've been making time to get up and do a Min Maint sort of thing around the house so it doesn't all go to hell. It's usually in the mornings after the first fires have been put out, but it could be around lunch time or sometime before the kids get home. Whenever the words aren't coming, or I'm stuck on a scene and just need to get away from that blinking, taunting cursor, I'll get up and get the dishes into the dishwasher, or swipe down the bathrooms or something.

Yesterday, the Small Thing was to write down all the stuff that we need to do to keep the house manageable. I did that, and discovered that, yeah, for the most part, those things get done as often as they should. Ok, not the mopping, but it DOES get done.

Today's Small Thing, however, seems to be leading up to something that makes me intensely uncomfortable. A daily/hourly schedule for cleaning.

I've been working on my housekeeping skills for the last...I don't know...five years? Every year, I made a schedule. Dust on Mondays, Clean bathrooms on Tuesdays, etc, etc.

I even did an hourly schedule. From 9:00-9:15, dust living room. That didn't even last a day, much less a week.

Last year, for the first time, I stopped doing that. I decided to work with what I really am, instead of trying to force myself into a mold of what I Should Be and Should Do.

I am 39, smart, funny, snarky and I'm ADD. I don't take medicine because, dammit, I don't want to. My life isn't perfect, but it's who I am. I screw up, I fall behind, I make mistakes, but you know what? So does everyone else. Including people who aren't ADD. And it has taken me this long to learn to start playing to my strengths and not focusing on my weaknesses.

I suck at schedules. There. I said it. Every time someone puts the word "schedule" up, I start to get twitchy.

So, I'm not going to do today's Small Thing. Today, I'm going to sit back and watch where it's going.

And even if it gets all scheduley, I'm not going to freak. I like the Company Girl concept and I like the Min Maint thing, so I'm keeping those. I don't have to keep everything. It's going to be okay.

Gah!

2010-01-12T05:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, so yesterday didn't quite turn out as well as I'd have liked.

I mean, I did the Min Maint and the house was all picked up. Even the kitchen got to an 85% solution -- not great, but it's been tons worse. And I was able to put the finishing touches on my Valentine's Day story, but that was about it.

I didn't get all my errands run, dinner didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, and the kitchen's a wreck again. Even though the housekeeper is coming in today, I just feel like there's no way I can get it all done.

I hate to wake up feeling overwhelmed, you know?

There are some days where you look around after a day of working and you feel accomplished.

Yesterday was not that day. I look around and go, what happened? Nothing I did made even the slightest difference!

Not to mention, I didn't sleep well and had nightmares about my dog being lost (I think) and then covered in fleas. Like, a carpet of them. It was horrible.

A fresh week

2010-01-11T05:27:00.000-08:00

Mondays are always filled with promise, I think.

The kids are at school, DH is at work. It's just me and the dog and the eleventy billion things that I Have to do, Should do, and Want to do. And the stuff on the Want list usually isn't on the other two.

Last night, I started reading a book called "HOME COMFORTS: The Art and Science of Keeping House." The author is a bit didactic, but I'm trying to look past that. I'm just trying to find a way to make this work.

Reading the intro, it's less about this chore or that chore, but about the evolution of making a home a sanctuary, and how housekeeping has become a list of things we check off our list to clean the house, but we never seem to be able to find that spirit of comfort and love within our homes.

I think she's got a point, there. I can clean and clean, but I *do* feel like something is missing. The cleaning is only part of it, so this journey is part of Being Merry. I want to Be Merry in my home. Feel as though this is somewhere I want to be with my family, where we can invite people over to share what we have.

Anyway, her first chapter is about setting up a manageable schedule. And what do you know? That's today's Small Thing! I think the universe is maybe trying to tell me something, you know?

So I made my list of Must Dos for home maintenance and I discovered that my absolute most hated tasks were the things I now get to schedule at least once a month for the housekeeper. Honestly, these were the things that I hated to do so badly, I never seemed to get around to them, and they caused me massive stress because I always felt guilty. Now at least they're getting done once a month, where before they would pile up for months and months on end.

I admit. I do feel bad that I have to hire someone to do these tasks. I feel selfish and lazy, but on the other hand, if having someone do these few things means that I can worry less about my floors, and be more gracious about having friends drop in, then I'm going to learn to get over it.

Also, having someone clean my house gives me a day to do nothing but write without distractions. Woohoo!

Minimum Maintenance:
Dining Room - check
Living Room - check
Bedroom - check
Master bath - check
Laundry room - check
Hall bath - check
Dishes - check
Counters - check
Tables - nope
Desk - nope

Risk

2010-01-10T18:15:00.001-08:00

When is this game of RISK going to freaking end?!? We've been playing for three nights now and no one is off the board yet! I've almost got Asia in the bag, but I don't have very many armies to defend it and not enough to attack anyone else. At this point, I'm about to just TRY to start losing.

I swear, my attention span is too short for this game.

A week of Small Things

2010-01-08T07:07:00.000-08:00

I did all right this week!

The house is in decent shape although my bedroom could really do with half an hour of serious effort.

The kids are on their 2nd snow day, and we went sledding yesterday! I hate the cold, but that was a lot of fun.

Dinner has been homemade and on time all week.

I interviewed a housekeeper who will come in once a month starting next Tuesday -- and I can afford her! I interviewed 3 people and the other two both charged nearly twice as much!!

Janet Napolitano is either 1) a complete and utter moron, or 2) has her foot shoved so far down her throat it will never, ever, ever come out and she should stop talking immediately. You're doing a heckuva job, ~~Brow~~Janet!

The writing is going well! I've made significant progress on 3 stories this week.
*I started with a new paranormal romantic comedy short for a Free Read that will come out this summer.
*Then I switched gears to my Victorian romance. Very formal voice. Completely different from the rom-coms.
*And last night, I decided to work on another wip (work in progress). A paranormal romantic comedy about a Gorgon and a foul-mouthed mercenary.

This has been a very, very good week!

What? I can't understand you!

2010-01-07T05:18:00.001-08:00

Today's Small Thing is to communicate clearly. Say what you mean instead of expecting people to infer, figure it out, or use ESP. I try to be clear, but I don't always succeed.

One of my husband's favorite sayings is "Words mean things!"

To which I promptly respond, "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe."

It drives him nuts, thereby making it one of my favorite forms of entertainment. *gg*

In truth, words mean different things to different people. We're a subjective population, not an objective one.

One of the lessons drummed into me during my Communication studies is that it is the speaker's responsibility to make sure that the listener understands -- to a point.

For instance, when I tell my 12yo daughter to do her Algebra homework, I have to assume she understands that I mean for her to do ALL her Algebra homework.

But when I tell my 9yo son to clean his room, I know that it's easier for him to understand if I break it into sections, i.e. "Pick up all your laundry, then put away all your Snap Circuits. After you've done that, come talk to me and I'll let you know what else you need to do."

You tailor your communication to meet the needs of your audience, then everyone is happy!

Writing Crap

2010-01-06T05:29:00.000-08:00

Today's Small Thing is to do something halfway. Kind of a kick in the pants of the Messy Perfectionist.

Basically, go do something half-assed, because half-assed is better than no ass at all. *gg* I just like saying 'ass.' It's the inner 12yo coming out again.

I already know what I'm going to do halfway. I'm going to write crap. Turn off the internal editor, not worry about finding THE perfect word, but just get as much of the story down as I can. I can fix and fiddle and tweak later, but today, I'm giving myself permission to NOT write perfectly.

Also, I might do a half-assed job of cleaning up my kitchen.

*snicker* Why is that word so funny?

ETA: There. I washed the dishes, but I haven't wiped off the countertops. Ok, I'll probably do that before I start to cook, but I've got to go run errands now, so I'm leaving the counters for now. A job half-done!

Mope Day

2010-01-05T05:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I didn't do yesterday's Small Thing. I also didn't exercise or drink a bottle of water. I should have realized it, but yesterday was a regularly scheduled Mope Day.

It's like the first day of a TDY. I always took that day to sit around and mope. Eat chocolate. Watch movies. Read.

Since yesterday was the first day that everyone went back to school/work, it didn't occur to me that I'd feel like I needed to mope, but I really did.

However, I'm only allowed one Mope Day. Today, I have to pull up my socks and get with the program!

Today's Small Thing is "Minimum Maintenance." Basically, spending a few minutes every day straightening up so it never becomes a real monster.

Speaking of cleaning, today I'm having a cleaning service come and do an estimate. I don't need anyone in weekly or even bi-weekly. Just a monthly service to come help so it doesn't get out of control. It's been almost two months since the last cleaning and the place could do with a good cleaning.

ETA: I did it! I just went through all the rooms and picked up for a few minutes. The house looks much better now!

Small Thing 1/4

2010-01-04T05:34:00.000-08:00

Today's Small Thing is to fill a kitchen trash bag with trash from around the house. You can drag the bag around from room to room, or you can stand in one spot, like I did, and start dumping. It is liberating to clear the debris and get it out of the house! Saying goodbye is easier than you think.

POINTS: 40 for filling one 13 gallon bag.

BONUS POINTS: 20 points for each additional bag, up to 3 (60 extra points!)

I'll report back when I've filled the trash bag!

Slimming Down

2010-01-04T05:22:00.000-08:00

Well, hey. I've lost a whole 1.5 lbs since 1/1. Probably not a good idea to weigh myself after an eating binge like that.

So today I start at 157.0

My goals for the week are:

This week, I'm going to make a menu that's based on whole foods.

Finish re-reading "The French Don't Diet."

Drink 1 bottle of water/day. That's about 3 1/2 glasses of water, which would be an improvement.

I'm going to get on the Wii Fit.

Resume my knee exercises because they really did help when I was doing them.

Get to the gym 3 times.

Progress

2010-01-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I reorganized my pantry and discovered that although I do have some stuff in there that I could live without, I'm pretty well-stocked, overall. Need more canned tomatoes, but my pantry holds a lot of healthy ingredients.

I can do this.

It doesn't feel like Saturday + Recipe

2010-01-02T08:17:00.000-08:00

My days are all messed up. DH gets the entire Christmas holiday off, so everyone's been in the house since the 23rd. It's fun to have us all together without worrying about schedules, but now that Christmas is over, I'm ready to go back to 'normal,' such as it is.

Also, we missed the trash pickup for the 2nd week in a row since the days are all messed up. We don't generate a ton of trash, but I'm going to be hard pressed to get the lid fastened next week.

In the spirit of Eating Well, I'll offer my easy, quick Hoppin John recipe.

2 strips of bacon
1/2 large onion, chopped
1 celery stick, chopped
1 large carrot, peeled and chopped
1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
1/2 green bell pepper chopped

2 cans black-eyed peas, drained and rinsed
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp Tony Chachere's seasoning (it's a staple at our house -- it goes on everything) If you don't have it, then salt, pepper, cayenne, garlic powder...whatever seasonings call to you at the moment.

Fry the bacon in a saucepan until brown. Remove and reserve for something else that needs cooked bacon. Dump in all the chopped veggies. Cook over medium heat, stirring often, until the onions are golden and soft, 8-10 minutes.

Add the black-eyed peas, stock, and seasonings. Bring to a boil, cover halfway, then simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

I don't add the full 2 cups of stock because I don't like my Hoppin John too wet. I usually serve it over rice, but last night, it was just a side dish on its own.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T11:31:00.000-08:00

We made it to 2010! Yay!

I can guarantee that I've upheld at least two of my NYRs today: Eat and Drink. I'm stuffed. We had a neighborhood brunch and I feel like I ate my weight in pancakes, sausage, strata and cinnamon bread. That last little dollop of Bailey's in my coffee put the kicker on the morning and now I'm just ... bleurgh.

I ate too much. Still, I meant for today to be a splurge, so I won't regret it. Dinner will be pretty healthy -- Glazed ham, Hoppin John over rice, with cabbage on the side. Ok, so there will be bacon involved, but not in massive quantities. And I can tell you right now that absolutely none of that sounds appealing at this moment.

This blog is still pretty new, so I'm not sure exactly how I'll be using it. Probably for the stuff that really doesn't belong on my writing blog. For instance, I hope to keep track of my weight here. Trust me. Readers don't want to know that stuff.

I gained probably 10 lb this year. I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 158.5. That's not acceptable and I'm fairly disgusted that it got to this point. I belong to Curves and I know how to eat, but I gained 5 lbs from Oct-Dec. I didn't work out and I completely abandoned any principles of good eating.

I also joined a website called Home Sanctuary. It's about doing Small Things around the house that add up. Makes sense. I mean, you can do anything for 5 minutes, right? Or 10 or 15. Little things are easier than "Clean the whole house."

So we'll see how that goes. I really am getting better with the housekeeping, but I need to stay committed to it. And you know, it might even fall under the category of "Be Merry" in my list of Resolutions. After all, it's much easier to be merry in a clean house, rather than being miserable because the house is a wreck and there's so much work to do to get it clean.

New Years Resolutions: Eat Drink and Be Merry!

2009-12-31T15:09:00.000-08:00

Resolution 1: Write every day!
Resolution 2: Lose weight!
Resolution 3: Be on time!

As if putting exclamation marks behind them makes them more likely to happen. snort

I went through my blog a little while ago and searched out all my old resolutions or goals or things to aim for or whatever I like to call them that year. I think the only one I succeeded at was the one where for one year I was going to Drink More Coffee.

I liked that. That was a good resolution. I made that resolution work.
Since I’m pretty much at my limit, caffeine-wise, though, I think it’s time for a new resolution.

Eat Drink and Be Merry!

Like any good resolution, though, I should break it down into concrete goals.

Eat: What? Eat more Twinkies? More Oreos? More chocolate? Given the size of my ever-expanding ass, I should probably cut back on the Twinkies and Oreos. Try to take my chocolate though, and you’ll likely draw back a bloody stump.

How about if I resolve to eat more Good Food? More whole foods, more local, sustainable, naturally or organically grown foods. Home cooked meals that showcase new cooking skills, that emphasize flavor, as opposed to convenience foods that we shovel in because we’re too rushed to enjoy them. I think that my new copy of Joy of Cooking and I are going to develop a very close relationship.

Drink: Good coffee. Good wine. More water.

The good thing about being married to a guy who likes a good deal is that you end up getting nifty things like Keurig coffee machines for outrageously low prices. As he’s now gainfully employed and no longer at home with me during the day, we found that we no longer made a pot of coffee in the morning because most of it went to waste. Dude. I can only drink so much coffee before I start to twitch, you know? Enter the Keurig with those cute little pods. We can even use our own coffee, so now my caffeine consumption is back to previous levels. Aaaahhhhh.

We live near this awesome liquor store (they gots wine what comes in biiiig bottles – with screw tops!) I’m kidding. It’s a great shop that does weekly wine tastings with knowledgeable people who talk about wine and food pairings, history of the vineyards, different flavors to look for – all that stuff that I used to think was for people who had their corks screwed on too tightly, you know what I mean? It’s fascinating. I’m serious. I’m totally into this now and we’ve found some amazing wines. They’re not stuck up at all and they’ll as soon recommend a wine that costs $12 as one that costs $40 or more. Which reminds me, vintners are starting to use screw tops on even their expensive wines. Yay for easy access! The store is moving further up the road this spring, though, and it’ll be harder to get to them. I’m going to miss going there on Saturdays. I’ll need to find a new wine shop. Pity me. *gg*

As for water, my husband, crazy romantic that he is, got us all Klean Kanteens for Christmas. It’s good, though. Mine’s bright red and I like it. I drank a whole bottle of water yesterday and that’s something I rarely do.

Between the coffee, the wine and the water, it’s a good thing I splurge on the nice TP.

Finally, Be Merry.

I have a relatively short list of things that make me happy. Being with my family, eating, drinking, reading and writing, watching movies where Vin Diesel takes off his shirt. For the last third of the year, I struggled with writing, though, and it was painful.

This year, I resolve to be merry as I write. All year. Whether I write flash fiction, short stories, novellas, or even write that novel I’ve been meaning to get around to, I want to enjoy writing. I want to pull up to my keyboard every day and look forward to getting the words on the screen. No doubt, I’ll encounter times when the words won’t come or the scene won’t work. It won’t even surprise me to find that I’ll have to abandon a story partway through. But I hope to remember that I’m fortunate enough to write because I love to write.

Let 2010 be the year where we can all Eat Drink and Be Merry!!

Ok, Four

2009-12-30T09:48:00.000-08:00

And after reading the last message from a friend of mine, it helps to know that I'm not the only writer who goes through this quagmire of ... what is it? Indecision? Crisis of confidence? Lack of direction?

Perhaps it's all three.

For now, I'll continue to write, but not to deadline. I'll write the story however I damn well please and turn it in when it's done.

I think the last story really did a number on me. I'll never write a continuity again unless I already know where I'm going with it.

I did sign up to write a freebie for Valentine's Day. It's mostly written and just needs some tweaking. Writing shorts always clears my mind.

Two people

2009-12-26T16:16:00.000-08:00

From my writing community have said they'd miss me if I quit.

Not that I'm trying to decide by committee, but it's telling, don't you think?

What next?

2009-12-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

I haven't done a ton of research, just a quick blitz overview on opinions about being a feminist, secular and Christian homemaker. I actually concentrated on secular homemaking and 3rd wave feminism for a couple of reasons.

First, too many Christian homemaker sites are about submission, obedience, a woman's place, etc. They're trying so damn hard to prove how holy they are that they end up being extremely angry people who can't have a discussion about an alternate viewpoint without throwing around irrational invective.

I'm a Christian, so I find that very embarrassing. You can't talk to people like that.

I also did a little reading on how people reconcile feminism and homemaking. There remains this divide between working moms and SAHMs. The Mommy Wars continue and frankly, I'm over it. It was stupid 12 yrs ago and it's stupid now.

I'm a SAHM because it was the most logical thing to do as my husband was military. I went through a period of trying to find my place in the world that wasn't just about mothering. You know what? The first 3-4 years of being a mom are just plain hard and even though some parts are great, some aren't.

They don't last forever and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

So reading up on 3rd wave feminism has been interesting. It's a movement very much rooted in personal ideology, rather than sweeping social or political change, although those aspects are still at the forefront of the movement.

But for me, it basically means that I'm not tied to my kitchen because I have no choice. Well, duh.

I've been out of the 'workforce' for...well, forever. I was never really in it. I was a professional student with a series of part-time jobs before I got married.

I recently began considering what I would do if I had to go back to work for pay. You know what? I would hate it. I am not meant to do the 9-5 cubicle thing. Even before I married and had kids, I would have hated it. Where's the freedom of choice in that? It's not that I find immense fulfillment in scrubbing toilets, but being a SAHM has allowed me the freedom to pursue a career that HAS been fulfilling. Something that I honestly would not have been able to do if I was trying to do the Supermom thing.

When DS was about 15 months old and DD was 4, I started writing. Suddenly, I wasn't just a mom. I was a writer, too. And it's been, overall, pretty awesome.

As I mentioned, I've been writing for almost 8 years now and I'm starting to wonder if it's time for another transition. I remember when an author I knew quite writing few years ago and I thought, "Who would give this up?"

I get it now. I really do. I'm burning out. It's all about production and pace and publishing and promoting now.

So now I'm asking the same question I asked 8 yrs ago. What comes next?

Haven't decided yet

2009-12-24T13:23:00.000-08:00

I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to quit writing or not. I have a couple of blog posts to do, but unless my editor picks up my latest submission -- which she shouldn't because it sucks -- I think I may hang this up.

I'm not succeeding and I can't take it. I understand that my bar is unreasonably high. I understand that I will never, ever make that jump. I've been throwing myself at it for years, but because of what I write and how I write, I'm not going to make it to the top.

I suppose I have succeeded to some extent. I am published. I get paid. I have readers, I suppose. To a lot of people, that's success.

I don't even really know what my definition of success is, to be honest. Is it NY? Maybe.

But once I get there, then what? The bar keeps moving.

I'm deciding. By Jan 1, I'll have made my decision, for better or worse. I'll either be a writer, or I won't.